Till the end to 12th November.

For the past few weeks, I've been through quite a lot of things. I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE IT ALL DOWN AND EVERYDAY I HAVE SO MUCH THOUGHTS TO BLOG ABOUT.


Now I can only remember 1/4 of it, so here it is.









The recent one was vomiting with mum. So last Sunday, I decided to study alone at OCC bowling alley. Mum and dad was going OCC too. I couldn't stand the stillness and the deafening silence of the study room, it's too much a good atmosphere to study. I need a noiser one.

So I headed to bowling alley - my childhood 2nd home since I spent most of my childhood nights there with mum while watching dad playing some no life game like trying to hit all the pins with a ball. I used to spend nights there sleeping on mum's lap with all the ping ! piang ! pong ! sounds of the pins. And I love it cuz it works as a lullaby at that time. Love taking the score sheet paper and start drawing nonsense on it too.


So I sat with dad, he was looking at me then looking at the new bowling lanes then looking back at me again.




dad : 要打 bowling 吗?
me : 我来这边读书的 *point at maths paper 1*
 .
.
.
.

dad : oi 要打bowling吗???
me : AH NA 要啦要啦!


So ended up playing 3rounds with dad and one of his kaki. 79, 99, 109 ! Mum came up to find us after that and she caught me playing bowling. I WANT TO GO MIDNIGHT BOWLING WITH DAD SOON, REAL SOON.



Okay ordered a fucking plate of bittergourd hor fun and started doing some maths. Kelly sat with us ! She's 3 years old when I was still spending nights at OCC bowling alley. Now she's 10 years old and she's also drawing on the score sheet with the pencil to kill time ! HAHAHA JUST LIKE ME 10 YEARS AGO !!!! This is the same fate for having a dad who loves bowling. She even know Justin bieber's Baby chipmunk version song. 


Back at home, mum started vomiting. I was still feeling alright until at night when I suddenly feel so dizzy. So I ended up running to the toilet to vomit. And when I was trying to vomit at the kitchen's toilet, mum was also vomiting at the other toilet. :/ Had a hard time vomiting and I just sat in front of the tv for 2+ hours holding on to the container thingy trying to vomit while watching tv.

Mum kept telling me to use my finger to 扣喉咙 and asked me if I want to suffer trying to vomit for hours or just vomit everything and feel better within minutes. So I did it after being in a dilemma for half an hour.


And all the hor fun came out. That horrible taste of vomit omg I can still remember it. I just can't stop myself from thinking about that fucking plate of hor fun with fishcakes and green chilli. OMG ZZZZZZZZZ.

Despite vomiting 3843289 buckets of vomit, I wasn't feeling any better. It was already 1am+ so mum told me to sleep beside her. I tried to close my eyes, with mum beside me comforting and touching my forehead, telling me not to be scared cause she's there. I feel so loved.

I looked really dazed at that point but my state of mind was clear. I was thinking about my O level and that I can't just fall sick like that, I am already so lagging behind in my studies, I can't afford to miss school.


In the end still missed school, for 2 days*


So I kept waking up to vomit into the container thingy, and mum just kept pouring it away and washing it and giving it back to me for me to continue vomiting. I think she repeated this for more than 10 times throughout the whole night.


The worst one was I couldn't stop vomiting and then I actually pooed in my pants. LAOSAI IN MY PANTS. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't take that blow because never in my 16years of life have I pooed in my pants (exclude pampers) and I felt so omg-wtf-how-could-I-shit-in-my-pants.

So I kept telling mum : 我laosai 在裤子and then I was still perspirng vomiting profusely and I just lay flat on the floor on my stomach (okay chinese is 趴在地上) and then told mum ''我要死了''.


I guess I was really so dazed, I can remember myself saying the ''我要死了'' and I thought mum couldn't catch what I say because she was still trying to get me standing up.

Turned out that she heard what I said and even told beryi about it and then laugh out so loud after that. (so embarassing.)


Until now I still don't know what she did to the shitty panties and I don't have the cheeks to ask her about it cause it's so disgusting. All mums are just so brave and they don't mind anything about their child. I was really having cold sweat but mum just kept wiping my head with her hands, and then my hair which probably stinks from all the perspiring.

The most momorable moment was actually her picking up my shit from a toilet bowl at KK hospital with a pair of chopsticks cuz the doctor needed some shit sample of mine. I really don't know if I can do that for my child in future. MUMMY NI ZHEN WEI DA :'( 


The next day, I woke up with a fever, 38.9 or something. So luckily there's car and mum drove me to Dr yau clinic. Somehow, the clouds, the sky and the wonderful aircon in the car calms me down. Very magical leh that feeling. Dr Yau gave 2 days MC, and he told mum to buy me 100plus to replenish the water loss or something. 脱水.
Went back home and drank sip by sip, but still managed to vomit out like a cup of it. Watched tv, sleep, wake up eat fever pills, eat abit porridge, sleep, and I tried to read history notes because I couldn't do any maths or whatever so just reading.

Next day woke up with another massive headache, so the 2 days MC was useful. Finally went to school on Wednesday.

Last last year, I had food poisoning because of donuts.
Last year I had food poisoning because of roti prata curry.
This year, I had food poisoning because of bittergourd hor fun.

So I rarely eat donuts ever since that day, but roti prata I'm able to accept it. Now I can't accept hor fun and fishcakes OMGOMGOMG FISHCAKEZZZZZZZ.




And a few weeks ago, mum helped me to cut my fringe. Felt like I returned to childhood even though I have no memories of mum cutting my fringe. Haha so I was sitting on the floor hugging on to a dustbin while mum's sitting on the stool cutting my fringe carefully.
Every saturday or sunday, she would ask if I want to go Orchard with her. She just doesn't give up asking me to go out with her every weekend. I felt bad. I want to go with her so badly. SOSOSO BADLY. Mum, just 1 more month!!!!!!!!!


Today while coming back home, I hard someone calling ''YEEEEEEEEE'' from the escalators of mrt so I turned back and told huafeng I heard someone calling me. Then my mum appeared ! Don't know why she's always on the same train as me, from orchard to khatib, just diff. cabin. This is probably the 5th or 6th time I met her on the mrt.

There was once I met her directly when I entered the mrt at khatib station.

 

Every fun things that we discussed now, it's all quoted along with '' After O level '' .... Sometimes I have this thought that I may just die even before my O level start. I've survived 16 years just to take this dumb exam, I can't just disappear like that. I still need to travel around the world with dad and mum.

These few days kept having the Sleepywood and other maple music backgrounds ringing in my head....... I long for the freedom life lead in maple although it's fake and virtual but its so carefree...... T__________T


On a happy note ! After o level there's really so much to do. I have the Wants vs Wishes too. ^^


Wants would be a diedie-must-do after o level.
Wishes would be a hope-can-do after o level.


MY WANTS :

1. I want to go habbo and wreak havoc and spam bobba all the way
2. I want to go maple and kill a fucking barog
3. I want to travel around malaysia in our own car
4. I want to go back KL to visit Yi heng!!!!!
5. I want to write my own song
6. I want to go midnight bowling with dad and kakis
7. I want to learn how to cook all the soups that I loved from young (life is meaningless without soup)

I'll always need a bowl of soup when eating outside unless they really don't have, then when the soup's getting lesser, I will feel unsafe,  没有安全感, like the fuel running low like that :/

1. I want to go orchard as much as I can with mum
2. I want to learn housework from mum so that I can survive in future

Yes, must not be pampered. I've not touched any iron, hanging clothes pole, not even a mop in my life. Need to learn, really need to.



MY WISHES :

• TO WHITEN MYSELF, MY TEETH
• Sleep in a tent with friends
• Make my own MV
• Learn guitar
• See the real Titanic at atlantic ocean
• To see an aurora /shooting star in my lifetime so that I can believe it's real
• PARASAIL
• PARAGLIDE
• Build a snowman outside my house
• my house to have a chimmey, fireplace, and eat log cakes during x'mas
• Hot air balloon ride
• Gondola ride at Venice
• See through floor cable-car
• Climb up a mountain to watch sunrise
• Skiing
• See pyramids at egpyt
• To see big ben
• See a Zara store in europe 

The list will never end if I go on. I SHALL CONTINUE WITH MY JOURNEY TO 12 NOV FIRST.

I long to be free one day, and that day is now a fucking month away. 

11 Oct, 10.22pm

Last Friday, I had my last PE lesson in my life.
This Monday, I listened to OPSS's school song for the last time and sang it loud in my heart.

Tomorrow's the last day of lessons in school, today was a good one because there's only 7 of us in a class of 16. Presentees < Absentees.

Okay gotta download more songs and videos so that they can last me till 12 nov !

I
WILL
SURVIVE.



ITS
JUST
ANOTHER

1 MONTH.
4 WEEKS.
30 DAYS.

:')